prepare your kids to think critically
CHAD
A natural instinct in parenting is to solve problems for your children. This is especially true for dads. For some reason, dads are always looking to “fix” it. We are constantly looking to simply make it work and to move on. Maybe it comes with age, but I’ve found that fixing it doesn’t actually solve the problem 9 times out of 10. Fixing it without teaching it does our children a disservice. What happens when we are no longer there to simply fix it?
With our kids, we have a running joke that they are killer negotiators. Anything and everything is a negotiation. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I draw the line, and to steal a line from The Mandalorian, the answer to “But WHY?” is “This is the way” or “I have spoken”! Personally love this simplicity of these statements. However, when time allows we work hard to give our kids choices. Examples: This or That? Here are the five things that need to get done, what would you like to do first?
There is a lot of friendly teasing. Sometimes I will throw out insane curveball comments to see if they are listening (which is harder through AirPods than it used to be). One of my personal favorites is when they ask “What’s for dinner?” My answer is always fish. They really don’t like fish. But then the negotiation starts: What would you like to cook?
The difference of telling your child what to do versus allowing them a bit of freedom to make their argument is monumental. It is a skill that is so critical as they get older. There is a line, it has to be taught. But where better to find that line then with parents. We are safe. We know our kids. If parents allow their kids a bit of room to ask questions, then that allows them to come to the answers via their own thought process.
Another version of this same concept is non-verbal negotiation. Strategy games are great for this. With our little we play checkers. With our oldest it is chess. The unpredictability of these games allows room to grow their skills in reading the other person, predicting the next move, and to use their cleverness to bait you into the next move to their advantage. I never let them win. They have to earn it. When they beat me … which they do, their confidence goes up as they’ve truly earned it.
At this same turn, if your kid makes valid points please do not be afraid to acknowledge and reward that. Parents only have the advantage of being older. That advantage does not mean we are always right. Don’t let them win an illogical argument. When the occasion arises that you are wrong though, let them see that. Let them enjoy that victory and learn from you how to concede an argument or an opinion.
A child is NEVER too young to learn to problem solve. A child is NEVER too young to learn to make their argument, to critically think and to debate. Whether they are capable of being good at these skills is a direct correlation to how much practice they are allowed.
